Specialist Subject Mega Tour, Day 3: Bristol – Liverpool.

We had a customary breakfast at Cafe Kino, joined on our table by Kate from Personal Breakfast, Jen from Colour Me Breakfast, Sarah from Kate’s Breakfast and Daniel from Daniel vs the Breakfast. I can’t remember much of the conversation but I know She-Wee’s were discussed at length, as was urine generally. We had a group photo outside, only to look up and see Huss across the other side of the road looking glum that he had missed out.

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We set off to Liverpool slightly bummed that we’d missed out on meeting Sammy’s famous dog Pickle. Nicola, Dean and I listened to our latest round of album mixes in the van and got stoked. We took a pee stop where I purchased a bottle of water, bottle of Irn Bru and some gum for the reasonable price of eight squillion pounds (actually £5.17 but still what the fuck!) Jay tried to win a Kindle in one of those machine things. Dean bought a bouncy ball, he bounced it to Nicola who missed the catch and it ended up going into the tray of tomatoes and cucumbers at the service station’s buffet. Huss went over to do damage control learning that they would now have to replace the tray. We left post haste. Dean and El played more bounce in the car park where the ball hit someone’s wheels and later ended up dropping straight into Jay’s bag.

We got to Maguire’s Pizza Bar a little before the Caves and Shit Present party bus so sat out the back in the sun with a beer and quizzed one another on band related stuff. Caves and SP arrived and joined us, then we all ate really good pizza. Iona SP discovered her pot of honey she’d bought for her voice had exploded in her bag, pulling out a pouch of baccy to find a tampon stuck to the underside. Dean and I ordered pizza dogs, one vegan one veggie. When they came out I said mine was the one with ‘normal’ cheese. I was appropriately shut down.

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The show was a little on the quiet side but real fun all the same. First up was Pardon Us who were dead good, then Shit Present who settled in after some tuning/sound issues and were banging. Thom briefly mentioned Harry and the Potters during their set, prompting someone in attendance to say “They’ve got an oriental haven’t they?” which made everyone really uncomfortable. PB, then us. Just as Caves were about to play, Hamish opened up an old wound on his finger and started bleeding, improvising a temporary bandage with gaffer tape. I feel like everyone is starting to hit their stride now and it’s a pleasure getting to watch these 3 bands play every night. I’m sure I’ll get sick of it (deffo won’t).

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Us and PB stayed with Morgan from Pardon Us/Down and Outs and his partner Steph. Their flat is great and has so much cool stuff everywhere. The first thing I spotted was Braindead on VHS which instantly won Nicola over – She wrote her dissertation on the representation of female zombies in horror movies from 1930 to present, Braindead features in this and is also one of her fave ever movies. I hope you enjoyed this Doe fun fact.

We sat around for a bit drinking Carlsberg and green tea, listened to Jay play the banjo and Huss doing Kermit the Frog impressions and got the giggles for an hour. Doe and Kate shared a room, we all said goodnight to her in unison like creepy horror movie children and continued to giggle until we fell asleep.

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Tour makes me happy but also apprehensive because I fear at some point I’ll get bummed out out of nowhere and retreat into myself. Sometimes you just don’t know when it’s going to happen. The last tour we went on with Dogs On Acid I bought us all finger goblins in Norwich, a few days later in Sheffield I was close to tears when I lost my one (Kathleen Teadrinker got a good laugh out of it though.) This tour is so far so good and I’m really pleased to be with such nice people – I know nice is kind of a meh word but it feels fitting in this context. Remember, it’s important to be nice. I’ll give you that one for free. You’re welcome.

Glasgow today: Bis country and current home of Tommy Simpson. #tommysimpsonholdingdrinks.